Interview with a Gnome

Today we have a special treat, straight from hyperspace. Varmint the Gnome, one of the normally reclusive inhabitants of the Universe next door Sat down and spoke with us briefly. Here is what he had to say.

Rev. Kevin: Hello Varmint, thanks for taking the time to speak with us.

Varmint: No problem, we Gnomes are all about communication.

RK: That leads in perfectly to my first question: Many people believe that you and your kin are involved in a project to educate humanity, what do you have to say about that?

V: Well, first of all, what people believe is unimportant. We Denizens of Hyperspace are in some sense attempting to help humans escape their conditioning, but believing that won't help. Belief itself is the problem, and it lies at the heart of what seems to keep your species so backwards. Our approach for the last few thousand years has been to try to loosen the semantic rigidity that locks you into belief systems (or bs). We only work with volunteers, the people you call shamans. We give them pieces of non-linear data to take back to their tribes, in the hope that this will help, but the real work is up to you.

RK: What are some of the forms this data takes? Are you, as some people seem to think, behind the UFO phenomenon?

V: The UFOs are one part of our cult deprogramming process, but please understand that they are your creation. The basic data format is not something that you have a semantic structure for, and so you wrap your words (and therefore your ideas) around it, and it ends up being just another cult. Before you developed the idea "spaceship", your ancestors called us "Faeries", or "Spirits" or "The Old Ones". Even the perception that I "am" a "Gnome" is a symptom of your cognitive rigidity. What I "am" can perhaps best be modeled as a standing wave form in the multiversal energy field, just like you, but this description relies upon languge and is just as flawed as any other verbalization.

RK: Varmint, thank you for your time. Please keep in touch.

V: We're always around when you need us, even if you don't realize it.

RK: Good to know.